Aperture 1.4 {focused blur}

Young love...

           So the last few weeks every time we would go into a clothing store Cole would make a beeline for the sunglasses and he always picked out a pair that looked the same.  He would search for a pair of big lensed white framed sunglasses.  You know the ones that look like they are from the 60's. Or like the pair that Johnny Depp wore in the new Willy Wonka movie.

( Note I found this on some random site that had Johnny Depp pictures.)

Anyway, he would find the pair he wanted and he would wear them all over the store until I made him put them back.  And he would be so, so mad to leave them behind.  Finally after a few weeks of this we were at a store and he found a pair of white sunglasses that were on clearance for 3 dollars and I gave in and bought them for him.

Nice huh?

He wears them everywhere we go.  He'd wear them to bed if I would let him.  And really it's not so bad.  It's like having your own mini Elton John following you around.  Oh, wait.  That would be bad.  But Cole is full of personality and I'm okay with him finding his own way of expressing it.  But I did start to wonder where this obsession came from.  It wasn't Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, because Cole hated the squirrels in that movie and wanted nothing to do with it after seeing it the first time. 

  Then a few days ago he put on his glasses and said something about Elsie.  And I asked him what he meant?  He said, Elsie would like these.  I look like Elsie.  Ha! That is it!

I knew that he adored her.  I mean what four year old wouldn't adore someone who will im with them for 20 minutes at a time.  Which they used to do quite often.  Their conversations went something like this:

Cole:   Cole 

Elsie:  Hi Cole

Cole: Cole :0 :)

Elsie:  It's Elsie :) :)

Cole:  Cole  ( It's the only thing he know's how to spell.  He can read, but he can't write yet.)  Then he would send a bunch of icons. Smiles.  Bat's.  Turtles.  Whatever boy things he could find on im msn. 

Elsie:  Would send back  smiles and hearts and stars with a few rainbows thrown in.

And thus began Cole's first crush.

Later, now knowing what Elsie's name looked like Cole would look her up on my phone and call her, when I was doing something in another room.  They would chat for several minutes before Cole would come find me and hand me the phone.  Elsie was super cute about it and he loved her for chatting with him.

Flash forward to now and I thought that he had forgotten about that, but apparently not. As his love of white glasses came from the fact that Elsie was wearing them during our visit to Missouri.  I think it's cute.  Funny, but cute. So Els, I think I have your number one fan right here!

First day excitement!

Here he is, my big guy. He just started his first day of preschool and true to form he showed no fear, no fear at all, only pure excitement. Cole has always been strong willed and independent so I can't say I was at all surprised.  But I was surprised at my reaction after I left him at the school.  I thought that I would be relieved that the chaos of summer was over and the order of school days have arrived again and a part of me is but another part of me misses my little question asking shadow.  I will miss hearing, "Hey, Baby"  ( which sounds like bay bay in a low voice) when ever he walks in to a room, a recent habit that I can't quite figure out where it came from. I will miss his laughing and his kisses.   But then I realized that it was only for a few hours each week and the rest of the time he will right back by my side. I just can't believe the day with my little ones at home full time are over.  I love both of my boys so much. It's hard to watch them start a life without me.  But that is the way it works and I will be there to pick them up and ask about their days and I am grateful for that.

Here is another picture of Cole right before going into school.  Jumping, and no I didn't ask him to, he just could not stand still he was soooo excited. And yes, he has a buzz.  He won't let me comb his hair so it has to be short or he looks like a "lost boy"  you know, the boys from Peter Pan that had no Mothers.

You may be asking what I did with my new found two and a half hours of freedom?  The answer?  I went home and took a shower, you know the kind where no one is coming in and asking questions or standing at the door knocking the whole time, and you aren't rushing to finish so that the chaos that is occurring outside the bathroom while you are away is minimized.  It was nice.  I might learn to enjoy my two hours.  I might even try going shopping and trying on clothes without having to chase after little people half dressed as they escape under the dressing room door. Or go grocery shopping without someone asking for a donut every ten seconds.   Ohhhh the possibilities. How is "back to school" going for you?

Home again home again jiggity jig.

I'm home again.  Although without Mark it doesn't really feel completely like home. But it's so good to be back with my boys. I'm not even sure where to begin to tell the story of this CKU. It was a really, really good event for me so I'll start out with the best part.  I got there the first day totally depressed and overrun.  I just really missed Mark.  The hotel was so amazingly huge and beautiful and I just kept wishing that he could be there with me.  So I called him and told him that and he should look for a ticket.  I didn't think anything would come of it but then he found a really, really cheap last second flight and he flew in the next day.  We hadn't seen each other in two months and being with him even for a few minutes was heaven. I loved having him there and I loved that he was able to meet my friends and fellow teachers and students and understand a little bit more of what I do.  It been so fun talking to him on the phone and hearing him reference conversations and things he learned at cku.  I may just turn him into a scrapbooker. lol.

  I say it over and over, I love teaching photography even if just for an hour at a time and feeling like I helped someone understand their camera a little bit better.  I really find joy in that and so all the work at CKU is totally worth it.  Plus I love photographing the event for the final slide show.  I get to go in and out of everyone's classrooms and I love seeing the dynamics of each class. Ana's class is always cracking up at some joke. Tim's classes are full of concentration, everyone's head tilted in the same direction dabbing on paint.  Jessica's students are staring in concentration on their computer screens and I am always over whelmed by each of the teachers investments in sharing all they know and all of the students striving to learn something new.  It really is amazing and I am grateful to be a part of this industry.

  Of course aside from the classes there are all the fun parties and crops, the ultimate comradery of sharing a passion for a hobby, silly moments, and lot's of laughter.  Here are a few pictures from Nashville.  Yes, they are all of the teachers, I wish I could post other pictures but I wouldn't feel right about posting pictures of people I don't have approval from.

   

   

A few of the teachers from CK.  I have come to love these girls and look forward to seeing them.

Here is a picture of my Mark with Becky and C.D.!  They asked him to sing ten mins. before the final crop and he did a fabulous job!  I was so proud of him.  He was sweet to agree so last second and to be such a good sport about it.  I think everyone really enjoyed it.

Becky, Ali and Jessica jumping, I'm thankful that they are willing go with anything I ask of them no matter how crazy.

Some of the teachers laughing and enjoying the tailgate party.

Jessica and I in the hotel.

Anyway, I guess that is enough talk about CKU but I just want to say thank you to the students who to my class you were kind and gracious and I had a wonderful time.  I hope you did too!

Going to the airport the last day was really difficult. I went two hours early so that I could sit with Mark and say goodbye and it was so hard.  We just aren't meant to be apart.  He is my best friend and I love him so much.  I was bawling like a baby in the terminal when we got on the plane and Jessica just happened to walk by, She was so great at trying to comfort and distract me at the same time.  Thanks Jess!  And then I walked over to my flight and was happy to see that I was flying with Becky, Carrie and these lovely people.

The CKU staff are the greatest team.  I LOVE working with them. I love chatting with them and I am amazed at all the hard work that they put into their job. They seriously need more recognition.

  I got to sit by Becky on the plane.  I think I talked the whole way to Arizona and I think she let me because she knew I was so sad and I was trying not to lose it.  I'm sorry to say that I think I was one of those "annoying" people that never let you sleep! But it was so nice to get to know her and learn more about her.  She is honestly so sincere and such a kind, kind person.

  At the lay over and on the rest of the way home I sat with Lindsay and the rest of the staff and I had such a good time. Like I said they are a great group of people.

  And now I am home again.  Life has resumed at it's usual quick pace and I am hurrying to keep up.  It's always so good to see my boys running to me after we have been apart although I must say I had to talk them into actually coming home because they had SUCH a good time with their cousins.  Thanks, Lisa!

Cole start's his first day of preschool tomorrow, so it's going to be a big day for me.  Both boy's in school. Wow.  Time has gone by so fast.  But I'll write more about that, tomorrow.

Nashville!

  I just wanted to write a quick update since I have gotten a few emails asking if I'm okay.  Yep, I'm good. This last week has been so crazy it was spent baptising kelly into the waters of Jane Austen.  We made her watch Emma. I think she liked it?  Although not as much as romantic obsessive Sarah and I. It was also Grants first week of school here in Utah.  He has a great teacher.  He loves it so far.  So things are good but I want to spend more time on this so I'm going to post pictures and talk about it more soon when I have time. And inbetween assignments and articles the last thing going on this week is the fact that I'm currently on my computer in a hotel in Nashville to teach at CKU.  I'm excited to be here.  I love teaching.  I really, really do. I love looking into the students faces as seeing that they now understand what an aperture is or how to change their iso.  It's so great!  So until next week I'll be focusing on that!  I'll write a recap when I get home!

Random thoughts...

I've been really down this weekend.  I'm missing Mark so much it's starting to wear on me.  We aren't meant to be apart.  Ever.  I hate it. Sigh.  But that's enough whining.  I'm going to leave it at that for now.

Luckily, since moving here I've been blessed to be able to hang out with Sarah Champion, Kelly Purkey and to meet and become friends with Emily Kate. Without getting to sentimental it's been really nice to have girl friends.  I've mentioned before that in my married life we have moved so much that I haven't ever felt like I was able to make a lot of friends.  I had some great friends in Athens which were very supportive but in the last year and a half that area of my life has been pretty empty beside my scrapbooking online friends.  But there was no one that I could call and say, hey let's go watch a Jane Austen movie and then discuss it for longer than it took to watch it. And that's just what we did this weekend.  We went to see Becoming Jane in South Jordan because it's not playing in Provo and then we went to Mama's Cafe and talked about it.  At one point we all started laughing because we realized we were so a scene out of Sleepless in Seattle. Talking about a movie in such detail. lol. I'm so grateful for these girls and new friendships. 

  Becoming Jane is such a good movie and that's saying a lot for me because I hate movies that don't have bright happy endings and I'm not a big fan of Anne Hathaway.  I mean seriously?  They couldn't find a British actress to play the part?  So I went into the movie without the best attitude but I left a teary eyed mess. It is really good. I don't know how accurate it is.  Because well, I know that there were many flaws but still...it was good.

Anyway, maybe it's the whole missing my husband thing and trying to replace that longing by reading romantic books and watching romantic movies and making romantic scrapbook pages.  Which is not working by the way.  It's making it even harder. But now I'm a little obsessed with finding cute romantic songs that remind me of him.  And here is one of them, I thought I'd share my new music find she is really great.  Her name is Feist, she has a song called Mushaboom that I love because the words are so cute.  I left the first verse out because it's the rest that I feel like relates to us right now.

But in the meantime we've got it hard
Second floor living without a yard
It may be years until the day
My dreams will match up with my pay

Old dirt road,
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
knee deep snow
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
Watching the fire as we grow
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
o-o-o-o-old

I got a man to stick it out
And make a home from a rented house oh
And we'll collect the moments one by one
I guess that's how the future's done oh

How many acres, how much light
Tucked in the woods and out of sight
Talk to the neighbours and tip my cap
On a little road barely on the map

Old dirt road,
mushaboom, mushaboom)
knee deep snow
mushaboom, mushaboom)
Watching the fire as we grow,
mushaboom, mushaboom)
o-o-o-o-old
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
Old dirt road rambling rose
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
Watching the fire as we grow
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
Well I'm Sold...

Here is the video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fr7zVwX4fsU&mode=related&search=

I think she is really fun, I like these video's of her's too:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8Z-DIAthbM&mode=related&search=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWrNCCx2p5U&mode=related&search=

Sorry, I still can't figure out how to add the videos right to my blog.  But maybe these will inspire you like they inspire me!

   

Sigh...

Yes, it's true.  You don't need to rub your eyes or question your sanity or anything.  I am writing about Jane Austen and books AGAIN. But I can't help it! I'm a total Jane Austen addict.  It's just a part of me.  Love it or leave it.

  Sarah, Emily Kate and I all went to the Borders party for Eclipse on Monday night even though we already had the books.  What? Were not crazy... we are faithful readers, and we had to go and see what others thought of our beloved Edward and Bella. Anyway they had a whole section on all the Jane Austen run-offs.  I would have bought them all but well, budgets and the fact that I'm sure most aren't that good held me back.  (Although if any of you are looking for good reading Austenland by Shannon Hale is full of cheesy romantic goodness.) Anyway, back to the point of this.  I found the awesome book pictured above!  It's a Jane Austin choose your own adventure!  Hello!  How cool is that?  I don't actually know if it's any good or not because I haven't had the time to sit down and see where my fate lies but just the idea of it is fantastic.  Plus I love the creepy drawings on the front in a strange sort of way. lol.

  So, I've finished Austenland, Harry Potter and Eclipse.  All the books I've been waiting for and now I need to find something new.  Any suggestions for a sappy romantic like me?

Childhood

I have a really bad memory.  Really bad.  Sometimes I feel like I barely remember my childhood.  Now, I honestly think that part of that is because we moved so, so much that I had no consistency to hold onto and remember but I am also just bad at remembering things.  That's one of the reasons scrapbooking my boys lifes are so important to me.

  Elsie asked us for a childhood picture of each of the design team members and so I was going through some of my Mom's old photo's and I realized that there were hardly any of me, and I'm the oldest so that tells you how many there are of my other siblings.  I asked her why and she told me it was because my Dad's nice camera was stolen when they were first married and they couldn't afford a new one until later on in life.  When I was born they were both college students so a camera just wasn't in their budget.  There are a lot more of us later on in life but even these photo's aren't very good because it was a cheap camera.  It makes me sad,not with my parents who did their very best to raise us but I'm sad we don't have those memories on film. It honestly just makes me more determined to teach even more women how to use their cameras to get GOOD pictures of their children's lifes.

  Anyway, I wanted to post this photo, because of it's rareness.  It's a picture where all three of us, my two sisters and I are in a photo with my MOM which is very, very rare. My  Mom was a fantastic costume maker. We could tell her anything that we wanted to be and she would figure out a way to do it.  I was six years old in this Halloween photo and I wanted to be a cabbage patch kid.  Nice.  So my Mom made the yarn wig I am wearing.  Remember the days before the Cabbage patch kids had corn silk hair ?  And they all were either bald or had yarn hair?  So anyway I'm the red head in that photo.  My little sister Stephanie was 4 and she was Alice in Wonderland.  Isn't she so pretty?  And the youngest sister Marissa was two and she was Sweet Pea from Popeye.  Wasn't she so cute?  My Mom was a witch...she was always a witch at Halloween and she had the wicked witch of the West cackle down perfectly.  So spooky.

I love this photo and it has made me realize that I need to worry less about getting the perfect shot and more about just getting it.  A real life split second moment that will never pass again and can only be captured by me.  Also I'm realizing that no matter how frumpy or unmade up I feel I NEED to have more picture interacting with my boys.  I hardly have any of my Mom when we were young and right now I hardly have any of me with my children.  That has got to change!

The part where she reads until she finishes.

So by some miracle I received an early copy of Eclipse.  Okay, maybe not some....the miracle has a name Emily Kate.  (Emily Kate I totally owe you! Oh, and Sarah too, for letting me have the copy) Emily just happened to be in the right place at the right time when a little book shop decided to sell their early shipment.  She bought a copy for herself and for Sarah, but as luck would have it Sarah had already pre-ordered a copy and Sarah so graciously let me have the copy from Emily.  She said it was because I was the one her introduced her to the book in the first place and then she in turned passed the love on to Emily.  And now we are one happy Edward Cullen/ Bella circle of friends.

  It's been two days and now I am finished with it!  I love this series so much. As everyone well knows, I have a love for Romance anything. And stories don't get much more romantic than these. If you haven't read twilight you totally should.  Every time I finish one of Stephanie Meyer's books I wish I was a writer.  Her characters are so real, you get wrapped up in the story as if they were your best friends.  I always rush to get through to the end and then I'm sad it's over.  I wish I could wield that kind of power with my written words. She truly has a gift.

  Anyway, no spoilers here but I am dying to talk to someone about it so if you read it let me know!