Aperture 1.4 {focused blur}

Starting today I'm 29...wow...

Remember this post from last year?

September 25, 2006

It goes so fast...

Doesn't it?  Tomorrow is my birthday.  Tonight I am sitting here thinking about it.  Funny how as a child you wait and wait for that special day to come and then as an adult you drag your feet hoping to stall a new year of life and just stay comfortably where you are.  I guess that, that is what I'm thinking about tonight.  Where I am.  Where I thought I'd be.  Where I hope to be soon verses where I see things going in reality.   The truth is, I am a worrier and I am a planner.  As unorganized as I am, I like to make lists and pretend that I am going to stick to them but they usually change.  A lot.  I'm not where I thought that I would be at all at this age.

  But the truth is things are good.  I like it here so far.  Mark is doing very well in his apprenticeship.  The boy's are thriving.  Grant was just given an award at school, kind of a student of the month award.  I'm so stinking proud of him! So we aren't where I thought that we would be but I'm realizing more and more that we are where we were meant to be.  Here in this life, in this city and I am happy.  Happy and scared.  Because well that's the worrier in me and although I try to be a glass half full girl I'm more like a "what are we going to do when the glass is empty and there is nothing for us to drink and we can't find water sort of a girl"  Like I said...a worrier.  What will the next year bring?  Where will we end up after school ends? All those fun, we aren't settled yet questions. But I know, I know things will be alright as long as I have Mark and my boys. 

  So come on over year twenty eight. I think I'm ready for you.  Just please be nice and treat me well.  Let me turn to Mark when we are 80 and say, "remember my twenty eighth year of life...that was a good one."  And he'll smile and say, "Yeah, it was wasn't it"

Ha!  Well I could pretty much repeat it word for word. It's now the night before my birthday again.  I'm still worrying about what this year will bring.  I'm still not where I thought I would be only it get's worse because I'm turning 29.  29?  It's not that I'm afraid of getting older it's just the age 29 feels so fake to me.  I mean it's the age everyone jokingly gives when they turn 30 right?  It's like a year that doesn't really exist except for in aging peoples minds. And I mean people must have really awesome years at age 29 if they really want to keep living it over and over so that's a lot of pressure to make sure your 29th year is really good.  Yes, I know these are crazy ramblings of a, wow, now 29 year old but bear with me I'm almost 30.  I must know something about life right? (I wish).

  To be honest the older I get the less I feel like I know. I read that last paragraph from my birthday post last year to Mark and he laughed. So did I.  Ummm....it wasn't our best year. But...it wasn't so bad.  We made it through. I think I'm now going to set the bar much lower for this year. "29- the year of making it through"  Hopefully this year will work out at least that well and then I can be pleasantly surprised if it get's any better. 

  We do have great plans for dinner tomorrow night so that's a good way to start things off!

 

Doesn't it?  Tomorrow is my birthday.  Tonight I am sitting here thinking about it.  Funny how as a child you wait and wait for that special day to come and then as an adult you drag your feet hoping to stall a new year of life and just stay comfortably where you are.  I guess that, that is what I'm thinking about tonight.  Where I am.  Where I thought I'd be.  Where I hope to be soon verses where I see things going in reality.   The truth is, I am a worrier and I am a planner.  As unorganized as I am, I like to make lists and pretend that I am going to stick to them but they usually change.  A lot.  I'm not where I thought that I would be at all at this age.

  But the truth is things are good.  I like it here so far.  Mark is doing very well in his apprenticeship.  The boy's are thriving.  Grant was just given an award at school, kind of a student of the month award.  I'm so stinking proud of him! So we aren't where I thought that we would be but I'm realizing more and more that we are where we were meant to be.  Here in this life, in this city and I am happy.  Happy and scared.  Because well that's the worrier in me and although I try to be a glass half full girl I'm more like a "what are we going to do when the glass is empty and there is nothing for us to drink and we can't find water sort of a girl"  Like I said...a worrier.  What will the next year bring?  Where will we end up after school ends? All those fun, we aren't settled yet questions. But I know, I know things will be alright as long as I have Mark and my boys. 

  So come on over year twenty eight. I think I'm ready for you.  Just please be nice and treat me well.  Let me turn to Mark when we are 80 and say, "remember my twenty eighth year of life...that was a good one."  And he'll smile and say, "Yeah, it was wasn't it"

Ha!  Well I could pretty much repeat it word for word. It's now the night before my birthday again.  I'm still worrying about what this year will bring.  I'm still not where I thought I would be only it get's worse because I'm turning 29.  29?  It's not that I'm afraid of getting older it's just the age 29 feels so fake to me.  I mean it's the age everyone jokingly gives when they turn 30 right?  It's like a year that doesn't really exist except for in aging peoples minds. And I mean people must have really awesome years at age 29 if they really want to keep living it over and over so that's a lot of pressure to make sure your 29th year is really good.  Yes, I know these are crazy ramblings of a, wow, now 29 year old but bear with me I'm almost 30.  I must know something about life right? (I wish).

  To be honest the older I get the less I feel like I know. I read that last paragraph from my birthday post last year to Mark and he laughed. So did I.  Ummm....it wasn't our best year. But...it wasn't so bad.  We made it through. I think I'm now going to set the bar much lower for this year. "29- the year of making it through"  Hopefully this year will work out at least that well and then I can be pleasantly surprised if it get's any better. 

  We do have great plans for dinner tomorrow night so that's a good way to start things off!

It goes so fast...

Doesn't it?  Tomorrow is my birthday.  Tonight I am sitting here thinking about it.  Funny how as a child you wait and wait for that special day to come and then as an adult you drag your feet hoping to stall a new year of life and just stay comfortably where you are.  I guess that, that is what I'm thinking about tonight.  Where I am.  Where I thought I'd be.  Where I hope to be soon verses where I see things going in reality.   The truth is, I am a worrier and I am a planner.  As unorganized as I am, I like to make lists and pretend that I am going to stick to them but they usually change.  A lot.  I'm not where I thought that I would be at all at this age.

  But the truth is things are good.  I like it here so far.  Mark is doing very well in his apprenticeship.  The boy's are thriving.  Grant was just given an award at school, kind of a student of the month award.  I'm so stinking proud of him! So we aren't where I thought that we would be but I'm realizing more and more that we are where we were meant to be.  Here in this life, in this city and I am happy.  Happy and scared.  Because well that's the worrier in me and although I try to be a glass half full girl I'm more like a "what are we going to do when the glass is empty and there is nothing for us to drink and we can't find water sort of a girl"  Like I said...a worrier.  What will the next year bring?  Where will we end up after school ends? All those fun, we aren't settled yet questions. But I know, I know things will be alright as long as I have Mark and my boys. 

  So come on over year twenty eight. I think I'm ready for you.  Just please be nice and treat me well.  Let me turn to Mark when we are 80 and say, "remember my twenty eighth year of life...that was a good one."  And he'll smile and say, "Yeah, it was wasn't it"

Ha!  Well I could pretty much repeat it word for word. It's now the night before my birthday again.  I'm still worrying about what this year will bring.  I'm still not where I thought I would be only it get's worse because I'm turning 29.  29?  It's not that I'm afraid of getting older it's just the age 29 feels so fake to me.  I mean it's the age everyone jokingly gives when they turn 30 right?  It's like a year that doesn't really exist except for in aging peoples minds. And I mean people must have really awesome years at age 29 if they really want to keep living it over and over so that's a lot of pressure to make sure your 29th year is really good.  Yes, I know these are crazy ramblings of a, wow, now 29 year old but bear with me I'm almost 30.  I must know something about life right? (I wish).

  To be honest the older I get the less I feel like I know. I read that last paragraph from my birthday post last year to Mark and he laughed. So did I.  Ummm....it wasn't our best year. But...it wasn't so bad.  We made it through. I think I'm now going to set the bar much lower for this year. "29- the year of making it through"  Hopefully this year will work out at least that well and then I can be pleasantly surprised if it get's any better. 

  We do have great plans for dinner tomorrow night so that's a good way to start things off!

Comments

[Sonja]

Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Heather]

Happy Birthday!!! 30 isn't that bad....I survived! I think you will be okay chickey!! Lot's of hugs!!! :)

[Sonny]

Congratulations! I turned 28 on Sunday. Gee - I used to love my birthday. Nowadays it's pretty much just realizing what I have and what others have at my age. I'm not afraid of getting older. It's just that I wanted to have a family with 28 and now I'm still stuck in my teacher training programme and have zero time for my private life.

Gosh - I sound horrible, haha. But it's all gonna be fine.... ;) as long as the big "3" just stays away for some more time!

[Stacy]

I joined the 30 group in March of this year - it was going to be a hard one, and then I embraced it to be "the year". The year of a Me scrapbook album, faith, and finding me - all while continuing to be proud of what I've already accomplished, like my two boys and my almost 8 year marriage.
Have a great birthday! Welcome to the "3s".
Stacy

[Kayla S.]

Happy birthday, Candice!!

[EK]

So excited to come watch Grey's and celebrate your birthday!!

[Becky]

Happy Birthday!!!

[Allison K]

Happy Birthday.

[Shannon C]

Happy Birthday! Enjoy yourself!

[Jessi]

Happy, happy birthday Candice! You are such a young chick!

[kendra]

Happy Birthday Candice!

[Kelly]

Happy Birthday, Candice!! (It's my 10 year anniversary today so I think this is a pretty good day too ;)) We missed you on our GNO the other day - it wasn't the same without you!

Hugs,

K.

[Cathy D]

Happy belated birthday!

[kansas]

Awwwwww!!! HAPPY, HAPPY! I will be turning 29 on Dec. 24th!!! Just can't believe it!!!

[Kim]

BeSt tO You On YOuR sPecIal DaY!

[Stephanie]

Happy Birthday!!! Great post. Isn't it interesting how life doesn't turn out the way it is "supposed to"? But it's probably better than what it was supposed to be?

[Sarah]

Candice...you pretty much rock. I'm going to be completely selfish here and say that I'm glad you moved to Utah temporarily so that I could hang out with you. Ha. 29 will be good!! We started it out with tiara's...I mean, that's the best way to start it out--as an American Princess. ;) Love ya.

[Karen]

Happy Birthday! I'm a Sept 25th baby! (and a few years older ;) )Hope you had a great day!

[Laura Vanderbeek]

Happy Birthday! Well, having faced cancer at 30, let me tell you that another birthday means you are still here! It's really a great milestone - so just enjoy every minute, even the crappy ones. As happy as you are, you will have no problem finding the good even in tough circumstances, but I have a feeling this year will be great for you!